Fear
by anotherbuskitten
Summary: Around the Dementor Ron remembers spiders, Bill's accident with apparition, the devil's snare, the chess set, worrying about Harry, worrying about Harry again, worrying about Ginny, seeing Hermione un-waking, spiders, hearing that Ginny's dead, and worrying about Harry.


(i)

He is four ½ and he didn't mean to break Fred's broom. But he wasn't allowed one or even to ride on theirs and Fred kept talking about flying and he didn't know it would break if he tried to ride it.

His tears from Mum's tirade are still drying when the twins find him hiding in his room clutching Teddy to his chest. As soon as he sees them he starts apologising but Fred is furious and his voice is louder than Ron's.

The tingle of magic in their fight is only noticed by George who promptly stuffs his fist in his mouth to keep from laughing or whooping.

Ron notices soon though, when he realises that Teddy is moving and bristlier than usual, and he looks down into the eight blinking red eyes and screams; shrill and terrified, dropping Teddy and scrambling backwards in fear.

A giggle escapes from George and Fred thinks maybe Ron won't need any more berating. They leave Ron cowering on his bed and make sure to close the door when they leave.

(ii)

He is eight and the summer holidays are almost over. He and Ginny will be left alone with Mum and Dad until Christmas and despite Fred and George being more trouble than fun most of the time they are mopey about the change.

Bill has recently passed his apparition test and is showing off for them in an attempt to keep spirits high while the twins get their school stuff.

The tricks work for a while but it gets boring quickly and Bill has to improvise; he starts by apparating into treetops and the bottom of the well and moves up to seeing how much he can take with him.

It ends in tears when he decides that he is proficient enough to carry one of them with him. Ron wins the coin toss and is bouncing around in excitement before Bill stills him with a grin and raised hand.

It ends with Ron and Ginny desperately trying to reattach Bill's leg to his body; blood covering all three of them, Bill slowly losing consciousness and gasping for his wand.

Ron goes to the floo to see if he can reach Dad while Ginny pulls down a heavy book on home healing off Mum's shelf. All the other books tumble down around her with a clatter and Ron leaves the fireplace to dust her off and pile all the books up so Mum wouldn't get mad when she got home.

Ginny half carries, half drags the book back over to Bill and starts tapping the wand at his leg and body and reciting every spell she finds in a rush.

Ron thrusts a handful of floo powder into the fire and shouts Arthur Weasley and before he can crawl in the fire has roared up and spat up his very frazzled Dad.

Bill gets to hospital and thinks it all an adventure but Ron can't forget how much blood had been in the grass.

(iii)

He is twelve and Harry has just dropped down a long dark hole with no apparent end. He feels sick and wishes he had had the courage to go first. Just in case.

He hopes no one hears his sigh of relief when Harry calls back up that everything's fine and gingerly lowers himself until he is on the edge of the trapdoor. Hermione waves her hands at him in impatience but doesn't stop blowing on the flute. He takes a great gulp of air and slides himself down.

The feeling of falling is fearsome enough; the sudden drop and lack of air, but it is over quickly and he is sitting on the soft plant and laughing with Harry.

His relief turns quickly to panic as Hermione points out what is happening and he feels the bind of the roots and again the air is disappearing and he can't move. His tugs only tighten the plants and his blood is rushing in his ears almost drowning out his friends panic.

(iv)

He is twelve and his heart is still beating as fast as a snitch from the devil's snare but he knows he has to step up and take charge now. For all their many, many talents neither Harry nor Hermione know anything about chess.

He doesn't know that much. He can beat his family and the other boys in the dorm easily enough but he hasn't had a proper challenge in the game since he was little and his uncle Bilius taught him how to play. Whoever put this up as a challenge clearly knew their stuff to a level he didn't.

But he couldn't let Harry and Hermione down.

He plays the game as well as he knows how, knowing all the while that it has to be the best game he ever plays.

He feels almost relieved when the queen's heavy sceptre swings towards him; safe in the knowledge that he had got Harry and Hermione through this challenge safely, that they would be able to carry on.

(v)

He is twelve and has been released from the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey has said he can leave and that he should go up to the feast but Harry is still in bed next to him; unmoving.

He doesn't feel hungry anyway, doesn't feel much of anything really, except worry. Pomfrey says that there's nothing strictly wrong with Harry and he thinks he's supposed to be relieved but he just doesn't understand why, if there's nothing wrong, his best friend won't wake up?

(iv)

He is twelve and he knows it's stupid to trust Fred and George with anything let alone something personal but Harry hasn't answered any of his letters or written any of his own and it was starting to scare him. Everything bad always seemed to happen to Harry.

At the time, before they were up in the air on a slightly wobbly flight, the car had seemed like a genius idea; the sort of brilliance that the twins seemed to store inside them for when they were bored.

(vii)

He is twelve and the worst brother in the world. Ginny is only in her first year and he knows how terrifying that can be especially if you didn't find immediate friends like he had. Especially if there was school wide terror about a mysterious monster. After missing her sorting he thinks she'd probably be right to hate him but he doesn't think he's to blame for how withdrawn she's become.

He keeps meaning to say something or to force her to talk to him but every time he works up the nerve to confront his negligence something distracts him.

(viii)

He is twelve and Hermione isn't moving. No matter how loudly he, Harry and McGonagall speak, no matter how much he touches her, no matter how stiffly uncomfortable she looks she just won't move.

She's so cold.

(ix)

He is thirteen and hiding in the staff room cupboard. He thinks his heart might stop beating; his blood is rushing too loud to hear the rest of the teachers' conversation.

Ginny _can't_ be dead.

It has to be a mistake. He feels terrible for the wish but at the same time he has never wished for anything harder. For someone, anyone else to be lost in the chamber instead.

For someone else to be lying alone and dead.

He has never been this scared.

(x)

He is thirteen and stuck behind a pile of rock with Lockhart; who is even stupider than usual. His sister is dying or possibly dead and once again his best friend is off to face the danger alone.

There is nothing he can do.

No. Not nothing. He can be strong for Harry and he can be ready for when they come back.

He can be strong.


End file.
